Why I needed Meditation in my life
When preparing to embark on IVF round two, I was trying to gauge the success of The Bondi Protocol. At this stage I felt desperate. I was trying to calm down my over thinking brain with limited success. I was almost trying too hard to be calm!
Listening to affirmations, taking kinesology sessions, reading self help books and attending guided meditations wasn’t working for me.
I still felt as stiff as a ruler on any given day. All I really wanted was to have a baby but this want, was adding pressure onto my already exhausted nerves. My kinesologist even told me ‘that I was wanting it a bit too much’. I was treating it almost like I was training for a sport competition – if I do this, this, this and THIS, then I will get the result I am after.
WRONG!
The same kinesologist suggested I should try to ‘let go’ of holding onto ‘it’ so hard. Want it, but not to live every moment through it. Simple advice and probably obvious but I was so caught up in my dream, I couldn’t even see how I was acting.
How I found out about Vedic Mediation
I found a blog in my Google search, from a lady who had been through numerous IVF rounds and now with the addition of the Bondi Protocol. It was more like a personal diary, she updated before and after each IVF round and I found her musings heart-warming. She included her hobbies of surfing, watching the Sydney Swans and travelling and it sounded like she had a good life, someone fun, busy and sensible. Yet time after time, her rounds were unsuccessful and she swore each time it would be her last but there was always another post - just one more round!
In her final post she was starting one more round and had a new attitude moving forward. There was no update at the end of it. Until I found a very quick update dated 2.5 years later with a photo of her holding a young girl on her hip. The final round had worked and she was so caught up with it all that she forgot to update her own blog!
I re-read her last post - what did she do differently??
She talked about a meditation course she had been given by her sister as a birthday present to treat her Stress. It was Vedic Meditation with a man called Matt Ringrose from Bondi Meditation. It seemed a few things aligned for her to do the course so even though a little skeptical, it turned out to be her missing piece to the puzzle!
Luckily for me, I was living in Bondi at the time and I felt I had already gambled on so many things to help me beat the odds, that this could also be my missing piece to my infertility puzzle.
Weeks after my second IVF treatment disappointment, I signed up for a free meditation talk at Bondi Mediation.
How Vedic mediation worked for me:
I attended a free Monday night Introduction session and met my teacher Matt. He has this great way of talking that hooks you in and provides great ways to explain complex ideas.
There is no obligation to sign up but the one off price did seem a little hefty. Some people left but most stayed because they really wanted meditation to help them in their lives moving forward.
I wanted the benefits of Vedic meditation, regardless of having a child. The payment was justified for me as it comes with a lifetime of support and when I compared this to a gym membership it is much more reasonable. You could be lapsed for 15 years and still come back for a re-fresher session and be back on board again, plus there is weekly support if you want it.
To start you are given your own mantra, learn how to use it through a meditation and then discuss what is happening for you during the process. I never knew how important this last step would be. Because stuff happens!
One night I came home feeling fine then within an hour I started to cry to my partner that he was too good for me and asked him to leave me, I thought he could do better and I was holding him back. It was years of stress, guilt, anger and sorrow seeping out and it was strange and a little un-nerving but the next day I was fine, I discussed it in my session with Matt and he said it was a breakthrough, my body letting go of all the crap it had built up for years.
Stuff happens and it’s different for everyone. I was lucky that I actually got hooked easily. I had originally planned to use meditation for my next IVF round, just like the lady with the blog . Ironically I never went through the IVF planned as I fell pregnant naturally, less than two months after stating Vedic Meditation!
Interestingly, two other mum’s in my mother’s group started Vedic Meditation around the same time and our babies are only a week apart in age. Could be a massive coincidence? Or not?
Before you rush ahead and book Vedic Meditation so you can fall pregnant….can I ask you to instead, use it as a lifetime skill, not just as a means to an end? Treat it as something you want to do to help YOU and your mind and health. Especially if you have health issues like auto-immune disease or POCS or any emotional based illness. Use it to heal you, that is the most important step for you right now. If you heal you, then you are already winning! Please realise that Vedic Meditation is designed to be a way of life and I don’t want you to think of it as a quick fix and have expectations. But if you do fall pregnant - you will find it is an amazing coping mechanism.
Vedic Meditation is not sitting cross legged and saying ‘hmmmhm’ it is also not: ‘trying to be blank and not think’, something I have struggled with in the past. The instructions are simple, you receive a personal mantra to repeat over for a period of time. With the support of a community for you if you want it/ need it. You can do it anywhere, anytime, it is transportable and versatile….you don’t have to go to a community hall to do it with breathy music either. I have done it on the bus, train, swimming pool, beach, Ladies bathroom or whilst breastfeeding.
Importantly Vedic Meditation will help you during the stressful time of TTC. For once you will be calmer and handle that stress with ease. I meditated throughout my whole pregnancy and I believe this is part of the reason I had a healthy pregnancy and have a very happy and healthy toddler.